so happy together

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain

Happiness is opulent. Or well, at least a long lasting, cuddly, warm hearted, fuzzy, makes-your-heart-want-to-explode-into-more-little-hearts-
so-you-can-feel-your-heart-explode-again-and-again relationship with Happiness is.1 Why settle for the mediocre rip offs? The real stuff sounds so much cooler.

The only way I can think of describing the process of obtaining real “Happiness” is running a gauntlet.2 You’ve got the humility, the embarrassment, and the all important poking and prodding with sharp objects. You can’t run right through and nab the prize and be like “hip hip hooray! I finished!”. First of all, that’s cheating. Second of all, the people on the side and in front of you will notice that you cheated and poke you into oblivion with their pointy objects. There’s only one way forward, no shortcuts, and no turning back.3 You’re forced into this situation where there are people trying to make you fail (cause face it, there’s always people like that; they revel in other people’s inadequacy). But seriously, if you give up, that’s not going to stop the people poking you. You might as well move forward and leave those people behind. Ah, metaphors, you are the world’s best explainer i luv u4

______________________________________________

1 Or well = Orwell = George Orwell. Welcome to the footnotes.

2 Running the gauntlet was siiick… it was used as a form of punishment for prisoners (Native Americans made Daniel Boone do it), soldiers, and civilians (for like a couple of centuries). If you were unfortunate enough to have to go through it, you were dragged by a rope, made to walk slowly, or prodded by someone behind you between essentially two walls of armed people. Sometimes there would be someone walking in front of you with some sort of weapon to stop you from running (I bet if he was a jerk he’d just stop randomly). The point is, you get beat down until you can’t walk, which at that point, they kill you. Or sometimes if you make it to the end, your sins are absolved, and your slate is wiped clean. Or they kill you. Depends on their mood and the position of the sun and wind direction.
Bird’s eye view:
250px-spiessgasse_frundsberger_kriegsbuch_jost_ammann_1525.jpg

First person view:
macedonianphalanx.jpg

3 Unless you are Super(wo)man. Because then you can just bust through those bad boys and be like “HOW DARE YOU CAGE THE BEAST” and fly away at supersonic speed while they all lay there clutching their injuries. But if Lex Luther/Kevin Spacey/Kryptonite Man is there, then you’re screwed sorry.

4 But I don’t love the fact that I am only on Gauntlet 1.5 out of Gauntlet 100 WHYY

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3 Comments

Filed under obiter dictum

3 responses to “so happy together

  1. Alvin

    what have you been doing spring break!?

  2. Alvin

    what have you been doing all break??

  3. HOW DARE YOU CAGE THE BEAST

    most epic line evar

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